Pre-natal Camps – Help Or Hype?

This was published in Parentous

Towards the end of my second trimester, a question found its place in most conversations I had with my friends, “Which pre-natal classes have you joined?” Not that I had not heard about them. I had read articles and testimonials, but somehow I had never felt the need, thinking things would fall in place on their own once I became a mom. Call it peer pressure or the excellent convincing skills of my friends, I soon found myself looking for a pre-natal class. However, my work schedule on weekdays meant I could only attend class on weekends. By the time I managed to sneak myself into the last available vacancy of a weekend pregnancy camp, I was already into my seventh month. I still remember my mom in law’s reaction when I told her about the concept of pre natal classes – “So motherhood has now become a subject taught in classes!” All I could manage was a smile in my defence.

On the first day of the camp, I was surprised to see ladies in their first trimester in the same room. For me, the first trimester had been all about battling morning sickness, weakness and mood swings. I heaved a sigh of relief when during the introduction round I met two ladies in their eighth month. So I was not the last one catch the bus!

The two day boot camp was like a crash course to pregnancy and motherhood. From diet and exercise during pregnancy, coping with labour, relaxation and breathing techniques, hospital bag checklist to taking care of the newborn – the curriculum covered it all. They even demonstrated how to bathe a newborn with the help of a doll, which had us all dreaming of the day when we would be holding our li’l ones in our arms. The labour session saw the most attendance and had hubbies listening with rapt attention. We made notes like we hadn’t even made during college. After all, we all wanted to master the art of parenting!

With a notebook full of scribbles, a handbook on parenting, WhatsApp contacts of fellow moms-to-be and lots of good wishes from our instructors, I felt like a mom already! My mom in law was glad to see my transformation from a nervous mom-to-be to a confident lady and appreciated my decision to join the classes.

There is a saying – Man proposes and God disposes.

While hubby and I were all prepared with the relaxation and breathing techniques, the C-Section caught us unawares. My…Continue reading...

The joy of being a yummy mummy

When lines bring smiles
and weight gain seems worthwhile
swelling tummy signals the happiness to come
Ah! There’s no bigger joy than being a mom

Motherhood is the best gift a woman gets from nature. The nine months of pregnancy are not only crucial to the development of the little life inside, but also for the mom to be. For, a woman discovers a new side of her and her relationships when she is expecting. Coping up with physical and hormonal changes does sound taxing, however all the troubles are forgotten the moment she holds her little one for the first time.

Towards the end of my first trimester, we had a ethnic dress code in office one day for an event. It was a time when morning sickness, weakness and mood swings had me at my irritated best. My hubby however, was highly patient and supportive. He motivated me to wear a saree he had bought recently for me. So, on the day of the event, I dressed up in a lovely Pochampally. As I was telling my sister about the celebrations in office, she commented, “yeah enjoy the sarees till the baby arrives, for the stretch marks and the odd blouse sizes will keep you away from them post delivery.” Her comment had me shocked, for this aspect of pregnancy was not something I had anticipated while planning a baby.

That evening, while changing clothes I noticed…Continue reading

Why Mother’s Day no longer haunts me…

For the past five years, I dreaded this day of the year. When the whole world went gaga updating their selfies with moms on social media, I preferred being unsocial on Mother’s day. No outdoors, no social media, no calls, no people. While solitary confinement would be too strong a word to describe my day, I came a tad close by hiding under my shell.

Five years ago, I too used to celebrate this day like most people of my age. Mother’s Day meant writing a poem each year for mom, which would get Ganga Jamuna flowing from her eyes; cooking something special for mom, which made her proud and feel sad at the same time thinking her little daughter was fast growing up. While she was at our service 24X7, 365 days of the year, Mother’s Day was a good excuse to convince her for the faciaI that was subject to her endless procrastinating. Life was full of happiness and security, for mom shielded me like an umbrella and kept me safe.

Then one day, a storm came and blew my umbrella away. Just like that, God decided to have my mom’s company in heaven. The meaning of Mother’s Day changed overnight. From a day of celebrations, it became a day that reminded me of the void in my life. Social media played the biggest spoilsport. When I saw friends updating their status and uploading pics with their mom..Continue reading

Can We Bubble Wrap Their Childhood?

This was published in Parentous

The other day, Mr. Hubby & I were having a small tiff on the safety features of S’s pram. I had carefully scrutinized and chosen a pram which seemed safe enough with its sidebars cushioned. However, little S’s enhanced sense of mischief had found a bar on the back side to bang his head against. Before I knew it, Mr. Hubby had bubble wrapped all possible open metallic surfaces of the pram. It now looked like a new pram straight out of the showroom, all bubble wrapped.

That’s when the thought struck my mind, “Can we bubble wrap their childhood?”

Parenting is a situation nothing can prepare one for, except parenting itself! During my pregnancy, we used to visit the children’s park every evening and spend some time looking at the kids playing. As we looked at the kids joyously playing with sand, we made tall claims of not pampering our child with unnecessary luxuries and trying to keep him/her close to the nature. We had spent a childhood climbing and falling from trees, playing outdoors in extreme weather and we wanted our child to be as rough and tough as us.

Ironically, the very claims we made with much confidence, vanished into thin air as soon as I delivered little S! Continue reading…

Common Cold & A Paranoid Mom

Till about 3 pm the day before, All Was Well in my house. The little one was playfully engrossed in his toys; as was the newbie mom in her laptop. Then suddenly, one sneeze changed all dynamics!

Acchooooo!

The little one sneezed with such a force that I left whatever I was doing. This wasn’t a normal sporadic sneeze; this one came with dirty souvenir for my little one that his newbie mom rushed to wipe. “Now how on earth did this happen?”, I pushed myself to think. 3 layer cloth – check, Cap  – Check, Socks – Check, Cozy Room – check. We hadn’t even gone out in the garden that day! Then from where did this uninvited guest come?

I immediately made a SOS call to my MIL and made notes so quick I had never made even during my college days! I have often heard elders criticize modern moms, who rush to the doctor at a sneeze of their little one. Not wanting to become one of them, I decided to try MIL’s advice, but it was just too much to possibly execute!

By the time Mr. Hubby returned home (which was coincidentally early that day), little S and I looked like troubled passengers of a stranded flight. We both dashed to him for comfort. A sleepless night later, the next morning, we were sitting among many other coughing, sneezing little souls at the Paed’s clinic. Continue Reading

Motherhood – the journey begins…

I am a fortnight old mom today. Yeah…few days back, I was blessed with a little prince charming (who is yet to be named) and life changed the very moment.

The nine months seemed like a long, long time and transformed me into a test tube with various chemical and hormonal changes happening all the time. Towards the 9^th month, my irritation reached its heights and I often told Mr. Hubby, “It feels like I have been pregnant for years!” The calm and patient guy he is, he would be his pacifying best as he replied, “It’s a phase and a tapasya and this too shall pass.” I would roll my eyes and wonder that it’s easier said and done and secretly wished fathers should be made to carry the child atleast 2 out of the nine month gestation.

I also realised it wasn’t just Mr. Hubby, but many male colleagues at work as well, who needed to go through the experience. While some of them were pleasantly supportive, others just asked dumb questions which aggravated my already oscillating mood swings. For instance, one colleague, despite being married and having a kid would always ask me, which is the date when you GO, despite me explaining several times that there was a tentative date however, the stork could come calling anytime. Finally, when he paid no heed to my explanation, one day I had to ask him shamelessly whether his wife delivered on a pre decided date or whether it just happened. Seeing his reaction, I felt I should have asked that question much before. Then, there were others who would ask me how I felt. Now how was I supposed to feel and how could I make a guy understand that! Pat came my reply, “if you tie a 2kg stone around your tummy you will exactly feel the way I feel!”

Every sleepless night with the little one also makes me feel if there is something that can prepare you for motherhood, it’s just being open to change. Throughout my pregnancy I was reading articles on pregnancy and parenting. A prenatal camp also gave me insights into the pre and post childbirth life. Having armed myself with an arsenal of information, I was super confident about managing the baby as I marched into the hospital. However, the confident fizzed out the moment I saw the baby. Lying on the operation table, with half of my body subjected to anaesthesia and scissors, the moment they showed me the baby, the emotions were a mix of joy and responsibility. The baby was crying his lungs out, as if telling me, “Get out of Operation Theatre fast. You had to be on a 6 hour fasting for the operation, not me. I am hungry!!!”  The doctors were all sympathy for the baby as they told me the baby was hungry and need to be fed. But hullow! They were yet to complete the stitches. Moral of the story – service before self!

All the gyaan I had acquired from internet and pregnancy camp seemed useless when I was bed ridden for good day and a half after the delivery. The mother should hug and feed the baby the moment he is born, I was told. But leave apart holding the baby, the C section left me confined me in a position on the hospital bed and all I could do was helplessly stare at the little one as my mom in law fed him formula milk. Lesson learnt – nothing can prepare you for motherhood than motherhood itself.

And yes, there were some pleasant surprises too! Having spoken to many friends about their experiences, I knew delivering a baby and the hospitalization phase wouldn’t be a cakewalk. However, all the pain was forgotten as the little one made his presence felt. For a moment, the operation theatre no longer felt like a dreaded place and I had tears of joy in my eyes as I kissed the little one on his forehead.

The little one also proved to be a motivation like nothing else. The next day post surgery, when the docs came to mobilise me, the intolerable pain made me cry. But I did manage the walk from my bed to the baby, for I was dying to take my little one in my arms!

After school and college, motherhood is another school that’s teaching me valuable lessons about life and relationships. With the baby, I too am evolving each day as a mom and I count my blessings.

Welcome to my blog where I intend to share my experiences with motherhood. From my journey during pregnancy to my experiences with the little one, there is a lot I have to tell. Keep watching this space for more and feel free to share some of your tips and experiences!